Have you ever noticed that touring New York is like being in a really elaborate sitcom? So there I was, 9:00 AM sharp at St. Patrick’s Cathedral—yeah, the one on 50th and 5th—and I’m thinking, “Is this a cathedral or a temple to New York’s endless supply of tourist selfies?” I hop on the city bus/subway combo (they promise you’ll spend less time in traffic because the buses have their own lanes—only in New York, right?) and off we go.
My first stop is Grand Central Terminal. I mean, have you seen that place? It’s so grand, I half expected a butler to hand me a cappuccino. Next, I’m in Little Italy, where every street corner looks like it’s auditioning for a pasta commercial. And then, bam—45 minutes with Lady Liberty herself. I’m standing there, wondering if she ever gets tired of being the ultimate photobomb.
After that, I hit the 9/11 Memorial. There’s something profoundly quiet about that stop—kind of like the universe reminding you, “Hey, not everything is a joke.” But then, we switch gears and hit the Ticker-Tape Parade Route. I mean, who knew paper confetti could be so historic?
The tour marches on through Wall Street, where even the bull seems a bit nervous about all that money. I get guided walks through Federal Hall and Trinity Church—places that make you wonder if the people in the old photos ever imagined their buildings would be backdrops to my impromptu stand-up routine.
And then, as if New York wasn’t enough of a whirlwind, the tour wraps up in the neon chaos of Times Square. Along the way, I catch glimpses of Madison Avenue, Union Square, the Chrysler Building, and a whole bunch of other spots that all scream, “I’m New York, baby!”
This 5.5-hour escapade was like living in a Seinfeld episode—full of quirky stops, unexpected moments, and the constant realization that in New York, even a simple bus ride is a comedy of errors. Who knew sightseeing could be so, well… observational?
I purchased my tickets through their website: www.newyorktourshuttle.com
Andrew C
